The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (However, It Will Be Printed)

By The Revolution

Good day.

It is a great pleasure to finally make your introduction. Please allow me to congratulate you on making it this far. There were many forces working against the moment we are experiencing now. You, however, showed great strength and fortitude in overcoming the obstacles to get here and meet me.

Please allow me to apologize. I am afraid that I have been very rude. You see, I know you. I know your name. I know your brothers and sisters, your friends and colleagues. I knew your parents, and I hope to one day meet your children. I have watched you grow up. I have seen you learn and mature.

But you do not know me. Allow me to remedy this, a most dishonorable, situation.

I am The Revolution. And this, The Union Street Underground, is but one of my many facets. Please do not make the mistake of thinking me naive. I have been around for many years. I have witnessed great moments and have had the pleasure to work with exceptional people.

I had hoped that we would be introduced before this point, but unfortunately, I have been away on an extended leave of absence. The time, however, was ripe for my return. So here I am now, finally making the introduction that has been far, far too long delayed.

This introduction, however, grows long. We have much to do, and limited time with which to do it. Since we will be interacting via the publication you are now reading, I feel it is appropriate to give you a brief run down on its operation.

The Union Street Underground, is not The Revolution. It is but my voice and my ears. It is an open student forum, to be used for the expression and debate of not only my ideas but, more importantly, yours. It is also a place of jovial conversation. A place to enjoy yourself and the company of those that you have the opportunity to work with. It will be published as often as is necessary to meet our needs.

But as high and noble as that sounds, it is the details that make this work. So please allow me to cover them.

Anyone may submit ideas, articles, artwork, event notifications, breakfast cereals, or anything else you feel is appropriate to the Union Street Underground. You will find that in this instance, "anyone" is not limited to the normal societal restrictions. We wish to hear from students and teachers, dissenters and supporters, The Good and The Administration, Earthlings and space aliens... anyone. Please send your work to submit.usu@gmail.com. Text may be sent either as an attachment or within the body of your message, pictures should be sent as an attachment, and breakfast cereals should be shipped to:

The Union Street Underground

144 Revolution Drive

The Known Universe

Also to note, The Union Street Underground operates under pseudonyms only. I have taken this step for several reasons. First, and most obviously, we use pseudonyms to protect our true identities. I do not feel that we are breaking any rules, violating any laws, or desecrating any Universal Moral Principles, but there are those that disagree. It will be far easier to become familiar if we can avoid being interrupted by those who do not see the Underground as we see the Underground. I am sorry for this necessity.

The second reason, however, is far more important. I am thrilled that I have finally met you, but I still have a few reservations about our relationship. I fear that you might judge me and my friends before your truly know us. That you might be inclined to associate us with certain projections that our society, despite our best efforts, has encouraged. If you truly wish to get to know us, you must do so from a blank slate. Eventually, I hope that we will be adequately acquainted to the point were this is no longer necessary. The point at which we can all speak as equals and view each other for who we truly are, without the distortions to which we are all naturally, and most unfortunately, predisposed.

Those of you who regularly submit work will be invited to join the USU as a full voting member. You will receive an official pseudonym and will have the opportunity to make decisions regarding the operation of the USU. We are also looking for anyone willing to dedicate their time, their ink, and their printer to join the USU as an official distributor. As we are a pure student forum, we print and distribute the USU ourselves. It is designed to be printed on either two sheets of normal 8.5" by 11" paper or a single folded sheet of 11" by 17" paper. The USU is also available in digital format at http://unionstreetunderground.blogspot.com/. Here you may post comments on our articles. The printable .pdf version of the USU is available through our newsgroup at http://groups-beta.google.com/group/UnionStreetUnderground. Click the Files link on the right to download and print it. You may also use this website to post comments not related to an individual article.

I feel that at this point there is something very important that you must know about me. I have but one weakness, but it is crippling. I do not, as you do, posess the ability to exist autonomously. I can only live as part of others. I am but an idea that you must entertain. It is for this reason that I implore you to allow me to stay. To allow us this opportunity to develop our friendship. I implore you to participate in our discussion and to strengthen our beliefs. I can do no more than ask for your help, ask for your willingness to participate. It is you who must make the ultimate decision.

But if you do feel that this relationship might work, that it might grow and prosper, then I look forward with great anticipation to our future together. It's going to be a hell of a ride. Make sure you wear your seat belt.

(Published in Issue 1)